I just wonder why certain things happen. Some people are so jealous; they just want to hurt us emotionally. See us suffer. Probably that is called sadistic pleasure.
I have noticed it just didn’t happen with me. It happens to all of them, well, at least most of them. Some speak out, some cry; some go into depression and some move on.
I’m still clinging to the fact. I don’t know why? We all grew up together. We played, laughed and cried together. We have known what each other like, what each other’s strength is. We held secrets. We loved pulling each other’s leg. We fought for each other. And then we grow up.
We grow up, we mature, both mind and body. We suddenly are a competition. We are jealous. We conspire. We try to put each other down. We believe in gossips. We are bitter. During the process, we forget to laugh, we forget to support, we forget to hold on, we forget ever had a beautiful past.
All that means to us now, is playing safe, back out, save our own asses.
My heart aches, when I think of all this. My mind brings out all those beautiful memories we once lived. Yet, I hesitate to stand up and make the move, to stretch out my hand, to start that wonderful relationship again. My ego holds me back, because I am scared, that I will be rejected, I’ll have to take the blame, put to shame. And why should I be the first person? If they think the same, let them make the first move.
While I ponder, things have gone too far, there’s no hope for sorry or patch up.
Jealousy has taken its toll.