A Troubled Soul

I’m so upset with my relatives. It’s very upsetting  to have such people as family. I am troubled and and anxious about why this is happening to me. Why would anyone want to put me down or hurt me, when I have nothing against them. I have bloody hundreds of problems in my own life.

Neither do I go to them for anything. Nor have I said no to them, when they wanted help. I’m surprised that there are people who get sadistic pleasure by hurting others, to see other people in pain. Is it so easy to just blabber nonsense about another person to an extent that you damage their loyalty, belief, faith and trust in humanity.

What would you do to to keep them away from yourself? Or how would I fight against such people? Or what clarrification can i give my loved ones that I haven’t said or done anything against them? What should I do first?

There’s also this crazy anxiety in me what others would have thought about me, when this person accuses me of something that i haven’t done.

My mind is running in circles, about what to do and how to tackle them. Probably, these thoughts are the ones which turn a normal human being into a beast, a sadistic devil trying to hurt one another.

I don’t want to do any of such things to anyone. I want to enjoy my life with positivity, rather than hurting anybody. So I decide to let go. Stay away from others as much as possible. Not take any shit from them anymore by giving them any importance any more.

This is just an anxious writing. Maybe I need my mind to calm down to come back and be more clear about it. But I had to put it out in some means. I don’t want to trouble my loved ones around me. So blurting out my feelings here… This is my medium.

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