It’s my birthday today. I turn 31.
Every Year there’s so much excitement about buying new clothes, planning the day, what we will be doing, where we will be going. So many things on mind. It was a compulsory issue for my hubby to stay at home to spend time with me. The celebration would always start from the previous night.
Somehow this year has been so different. It’s just the opposite of every year. No planning, no party, no hubby. Yeah, he’s out of town for the Annual Office Meet. Of course I have bought new clothes for the day, but no interest in wearing them, as he’s not around. Still, I’m not depressed [all though I’m a little sad writing this] I’m not angry, I haven’t or want to emotionally black mail my hubby through SMSes and calls and make him feel guilty about not being around.
My mind’s at peace. It’s like any other day. I got up on time, I packed DK’s bags for the Meet, and I sent my daughter to school on time and picked her up after school. I am doing my daily chores like any other day.
What is wrong with me? This is not me celebrating my birthday. My Birthday is very special to me. It’s the biggest celebration of my life. I have celebrated my birthday so big even during my darkest days. What does it mean? Am I so depressed that I am not feeling the pain of DK not being there or Have I just grown so old in one year that I feel celebrating Birthdays is no longer a celebration. I’m confused about my own behavior.
May because I’m more peaceful and satisfied about the life I’m leading. May be the young girl at heart has matured with age. May be Life had taken a new turn with this Birthday. May be it’s a blessing from heaven, What ever it is hopefully for good. Thank you lord, for such a wonderful lesson and such a wonderful life.