My co-sister had a baby last week. It’s her second child. Both, Husband and wife are Dentists. They have their own clinics. She had this baby so her first daughter has a company, as she and her husband work odd hours and cannot spend much time with their daughter. Now, what kind of logic is this? I wonder?
It never made sense to me. When I question her about it, her answer is even baffling. She says, she can afford a good living for the children then why not and both of them would have each other a company. She worked so hard and spent a lot of time in her clinic so she could setup her career before she can take a break for the second child. After a few months, she would return and still have the same patients to come back to. She had problems with her mother in law [like everybody else does] so she would spend a lot of time at the clinic.
Her daughter was at school for the first half of the day and the next half at her grandmother’s [mother’s mother… they are the real saviors]. Actually, her mother is the one who’s mothering her children. The child would meet her dad early in the morning when they are busy getting ready and by the time he comes back, she sleeping. Same with the mother except for the lunch sad part is they work on weekends too. When I raise this as an objection, my co-sister says she is working hard to earn enough money to give them a better life.
For me having money to raise children is one thing, but the responsibility and time involved is more important than money. Having another baby is like dividing Love, Priorities and Time and depriving all these things just because you can afford them financially is something that I can’t digest.
Children grow up with the nourishment of their parents love, support, and behavior, not by wearing branded nappies or expensive toys they play with.
Though my Co-sister’s daughter is good child, she already has mood swings; [by the way, she’s just 5] very easily gets annoyed, sets her preferences and has unique demands. Both parents pamper her as they get very little time to spend with and don’t want to waste time punishing her for her mistakes.
I don’t say all women have to sit at home and take care of the kids, but children must be their no 1 priority. A mother should spend as much time she can with her children not money. Nobody in this world can understand and reciprocate in a right way at the right time to a child than a mother. You must be present at every occasion to appreciate them when they are right and discipline them when they are wrong, and it is very important in the early stage of their life.
Children of this century are growing up so fast, by the time they are five, they know how to order Pizzas over the phone. It’s not funny. They are keen to learn new things; they are in hurry to take life head on. I guess with only thorough monitoring and helpful guidance would make a better child, and not the costly diapers and modern nannies you hire.
Being a full time mom was a tough decision, it brought a huge financial crunch to my life. But then I learn t the value of money. I learnt the value my time. While I whined for hours that I’m not being productive, my daughter taught me a wonderful lesson. I learnt the biggest lesson of my Life that I’m Important, my presence, my existence does make a difference to somebody I’m happy to stay at home and wait for my little daughter to come home and find me there for all her needs, for all her joy and sorrows, for her queries and confusions. I’m proud that I’m the one she looks back to and depend upon.
I’m proud to be a full time mother.