We Indians, give a lot of respect and importance to Marriage. Marriages here are for a life time. Our parents save fortunes for their children’s marriage. Especially if they have a girl, the preparation begins from the day she is born. When a person is supposed to be married irrelevant to the gender, everything comes under scrutiny, like the background of the groom/bride, how they look, how educated are they, what are their financial stabilities, who their distant relatives are, everything. Even the prospects too have expectations about what their spouses should look, behave, earn and many more things.
But it is very rare do we think, what is marriage? What do I want of it? And how much can I contribute to this marriage? [Well, I mean, emotionally and physically. Forget the financial part; nobody is satisfied with what they have] It is so important for everybody to go through this exercise before marriage, so as to understand there is much more than clothes, jewelry and food into it.
However we never do that. Everything is so rosy and glossy when we are getting married, that nobody thinks about the future of the relationship. We just jump into it and expect our partners to be perfect and understand every needs and wants of our life. The reality strikes only after all the functions are over and the relatives have left. The real struggle starts after the honeymoon.
It doesn’t matter if its arrange marriage or a love marriage, things are going to be the same, we expect our partners to analyze our mood and act upon it. We expect them to understand our unsaid feelings and react to them, while they are expecting the same from us. It is not our responsibility for their mood swings. It is they who are supposed to empathize and this is just in the beginning. By the time we could understand these things we have an add-on to our life already.
Once we have kids [one, two or three, its all equal to “KIDS”] they become our priority, for both husband and wife. What ever the situation is first person who comes to our mind is ‘Kids’ our spouse doesn’t matter at all, as they are grown ups and they can take care of themselves. If that is to be true, we wouldn’t have an establishment called society existing. I mean, if each individual can take care of their emotional, financial and physical needs, there would be no community. Everybody would do everything single handedly and probably human beings would be History
I still have no answer for it I guess…