Not so Fed up

Ok… I’m not angry anymore. I read the post [Fed up] today. Though the words are straight from my heart, I know I was rude. I was and I’m obsessed with the diet I’m following. Its most probably because my mom too follows the same diet and she is seeing good results. I am going through a stricter diet with lot more effort and yet, I’m don’t see a slight change in my weight. It really is annoying. May be I should go a little easy on what I’m doing. Probably I should give up the diet regime for a little while, sit back and relax. take a break. Then set my mind, target my goal to an idealistic one and then get going. But again I don’t want all these months effort going into drain.

Something is missing in me. I need to figure it out. It is not just the diet, it’s about everything I do. is it the determination or the concentration? I don’t know what. It has happened with a number of things. I decided to work on the scrap-book for my daughter, I’m still where I started from. I thought of making flash cards for her, again, I don’t even remember it most of the times. The candles, it’s another story today. Who am I waiting? or what is it stopping me from doing things? I don’t know.

may be I’m trying to too many things at once. I tell myself to make a list of things I want to do and do it so. But I don’t even start to write at all. Blogging is the only thing I don’t miss doing.  I feel so tired. Its been so long I called any of my friends. Its been so long I have done something that will make me happy. Wow… now that I said that I wonder what makes me happy? you can guess, what can be more dumber than this. I was not like this before. I need to put myself back into order, or else I will become one of those veining mothers gossiping with somebody like myself, waiting outside the school gates to pick up their children.

Nooooooooooo……. I don’t want to be that. This is too much for me to swallow, my head’s spinning. I’m going to bed.

its freezing cold out here. I wonder why.

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