One Chance…

Its strange! I don’t know why, but, I have this strange feeling from morning, that If I could get a chance to change certain things of my past It would be my career. My life would be different altogether.

I dont regret anything about my past though.  Especially about one thing, that’s my career. I did not have a mentor, or may be I didn’t identify him/her. I had lot of well wishers who did give me some valuable suggestions. I guess, I was not as serious as I am today about my career. It was just a job for me, a means to earn loads of money to take care of my materialistic needs. I really did well. I was a hard worker, learnt my job requirements, but didn’t use it grow in position.

I started my career as Computer faculty, in a school, when I was 18 years old. This job made me feel that I was good at something. There was no scope of growing to a better position here, except for, I was identified for my communication skills and was to handle English Subject too. I quit the job, for some silly, stupid reason without thinking (at all…).I had been there for almost 3 years then.

It was a time when BPOs were booming in the city. One of my friends was already working in a BPO for almost 3 years then. She was the one who motivated me to take up a job in BPO. My parents were against it coz, of the night shifts. I reluctantly attended the interviews, spent days in consultancies who train people especially for this kind of job. I was very choosy. I didnt want to get into sales. I knew I was very bad at convincing people. I also thought I couldnt handle the pressures of Targets and deadlines. After 2 long months of Job Hunt, I got selected at AOL Member Services Private Ltd.

America Online is an ISP (Internet Service Provider), They had outsourced their call centre to India. I was selected for the Technical Support Department, coz of my computer background. It’s an Inbound service, where members call in with their technical issues and we resolve it on the phone. I was pretty nervous in the beginning, and it took a long time to settle down to that kind of an environment. It was very different. I believed in the myth that people only sleep at night. I was such a dumbo. It was a total different world inside.

I picked up my job skills very well and got better day by day. As I said, I just considered it just as a job not a career. I enjoyed that atmosphere a lot, as it was very new to me. I hadn’t spoken to men outside my family. I never knew I would work for a foreign company, I never imagined that people did work at night. I never knew there were cafeterias who sell coffee and burgers even at night. I never knew I would earn a 5 digit salary, I never knew I would own a Cell phone of my  own, I never knew I would own a debit card and use an ATM to draw money. It was all new to me. I started enjoying all this already and still had a lot more to see.

Slowly my friends circle started to grow. It consisted of all kinds of characters, shy, bold, reserved, challenging chilled out, fun loving, merry making, lazy, betrayed, winners, and losers, young, old… and the list continues.

I guess I did everything (well almost… except for Love and sex) that I wanted to as a teenager, a girl wants to do. I bought some good clothes at the best malls, dined at star restaurants, went out for movies with friends, smoke a cigarette, tasted wine, and chatted with friends on the phone till dawn sets in. It was all fun.

I never wanted to move on from the so called “comfort zone”. I didnt want to lose friends, I didnt want to miss the fun. (How stupid of me). There was nobody to tell me that It would only increase in quantity and quality if I did move on.

By the time I realized, it was too late. Hmmm… I should say the time was precise, but I was not prepared, the competition got tougher, as my own friends were competing. They prepared for it while having fun, and I realized it only when I faced it. I had a few good opportunities too, which came knocking my door, but, I couldn’t make a decision, about which one to pick. I started to wander. I had nobody to guide me. I tried everything, one after the other, without waiting for the results for my actions. It became a mess, a complete mess. I was neither here, nor there. I did all the hard work after the luck had passed by me. Everything was in vein.

I did realize my mistakes, my friends whom I helped, moved on, made their career; I stayed behind wondering when I would be there. At one time, I felt I was being used, but then again, there was nothing I could do. I had lot of distractions; I made a lot of wrong decisions, only to realize that I pushed myself deep down in the mess. While all this was happening in the professional front, there was a biggest twist of my life. I got married. (In India, most of the marriages are arranged by the parents and it doesn’t really matter if the girl is financially stabilized as the husband is supposed to take care of the wife’s needs)

My commitments were more important to my marriage than my career. May be a little more effort and I would have stabilized, but I had enough from both my career and my marriage. I had to make the decision and I chose to my personal life over profession, as there was nothing to loose there. I was still a senior Customer care Consultant after 3 long years of hard work when I quit the job.

It did not end here… while I quit that job, it struck me from somewhere that I wanted to take up web designing as my career. I took up a course, completed it after a prolonged duration. Once I completed the course, I didn’t know from where to start, I worked for my faculty; he got the work done and never paid me, I got appointed as faculty for Flash and Dreamweaver in the same instate. (which was not my choice, but to earn) Then I became the Administrative Head in the same Institute which was a nice move, but that was not I wanted to be. But by the time I settle there, I conceived. Again I had to quit my job, as I had to take care of the baby. Back to square one.

Well this is just a summary. Battery is dieing already on my Laptop… no choice. Got to go.

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One thought on “One Chance…

  1. Prem says:

    Well a nice summary indeed !
    I still remember when we all got 1st salary at AOL and went down to the Citibank ATM. Was surprised to see you taking all your money out.

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